future excitement (let's talk about me)

I've been going to this one library for my entire life now. It's a great library and, although I stopped reading so much, I'm always there studying or using my laptop when I need to get away from my house. I feel like it's time to pay it back now. I'm planning to volunteer there soon (!!!)

I'm not sure why this excites me so much. I'm not even getting paid. I guess it'll just be something new. My first sort of work experience, in a way. 

I'm also a bit nervous though. The whole experience requires an interview. It won't be too bad, I know, I know. I'm just kind of shy and I've never had to do an interview before! It's better that I experience it now because it's just a small volunteer job, rather than have my first interview experience be for a job I really need/want. 

So pumped though.

MORE PERSONAL THINGS THAT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT:

SO my boyfriend has shit grades. Shit as in an F in math. He's trying to get them up by doing extra work at lunch, which is the only time in school that I really get to talk to him. I don't want to hold him back from getting his grades straight or anything but I kinda miss him. Plus while his grades are low he isn't allowed to do anything outside of school. 

It really hurts because his parents wanted him to break up with me because I'm a "distraction." They're making him choose between his laptop and me. I help him with his school work and I get him out of the house. why can't they see I'm trying to help him be better? 

That shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but it just kinda hit me that they don't really like me that much. They don't really talk to me when I go to their house, even when I try to spark a conversation. It just sucks because he's important to me and it's very important that his parents like me. 

I'm disposable.

I miss him.